Greetings from Down Under!
No, no, no… I’m not passed out, laying DOWN UNDER a table in some seedy dive bar in Amsterdam’s red light district.
But good guess…not to mention overwhelmingly plausible.
I’m on a luxury, all-inclusive cruise, sailing around Australia and New Zealand. Poor me. Traveling there from the States was no picnic…especially that 15-hour leg from LA to Sydney.
Ok, ok…the day-and-a-half getting there was spent mostly between being pampered In Business Class and some insanely nice airport lounges…but it was still pretty f*cking brutal. I truly felt horrible for folks having to do that shit in coach, and spending hours of layovers taking naps on some disgusting airport terminal floor.
Frankly, I’d rather be water-boarded naked while being forced to watch Michael Moore and Joy Behar doin’ the nasty. Ew. Only companies that manufacture barf bags could appreciate such vile imagery.
But here I am, squeezing in some time between amazing scenery and open bars, because there are two things on which I felt overwhelmingly motivated to opine. Or maybe just plain pissed-off. Yeah. Probably the latter.
I’ll keep this first one brief, but here’s the poop on that whole excruciating debacle that FINALLY resulted in Kevin McCarthy being voted in as the next Republican Speaker of the House.
First, it’s often said that the “sausage making” of legislation in Washington can be as ugly as Hillary Clinton at 6am after a sleepless night waiting for Slick Willy to slither into the house after a jaunt on Jeffrey Epstein’s private orgy jet. OK, old reference.
Apparently, this “sausage making” analogy also applies to electing a Speaker of the House…as the Republicans just proved in spades.
But make no mistake…when the Dems elected that Botox cloaked Nancy Pelosi as Speaker in 2020, the Dems went through the exact same mess…BUT ALL OF THE ARGUING AND BRIBING WAS BEHIND CLOSED DOORS AND SETTLED BEFORE THE FIRST VOTE!
One HAS to admire the Dem’s seemingly endless political discreteness and discipline.
Still, don’t buy the Marxist Democrat/Mainstream Media bullshit narrative that this was some sort of indication of Republicans’ inability to govern….their sporadic ineptness notwithstanding. It IS an indication, however, of the independent mindedness of many Republicans, as opposed to the groupthink, woke-obsessed drones that are the DemocRAT party.
Anyway, I’ll quickly move on to the latest and greatest Democrat scandal…and I’ve officially lost count at this point.
Is there anything…and I mean ANYTHING…more f*cking scrumptious than the drip, drip, drip “discovery” of the potentially illegal possession of classified documents by none other than President Poopy-Pants himself?
WELL SLAP MY ASS AND CALL ME SALLY!!!
My friggin’ God, the months of whining, pontificating, and feigned outrage over Trump’s purported possession of classified documents.
Every President, from Clinton to Bush to Obama, took zillions of documents when they left office…many with “classified” or even “top secret” markings. They then worked with the archives folks to negotiate a disposition of these documents…sometimes over a period of years.
BFD.
Ya know, Dementia Joe goes on 60 Minutes…a once great show of REAL investigative journalism, but now simply journalistic whores to the Dems…and spews this shit about Trump’s document woes…”How that could possibly happen, how anyone could be that irresponsible.”
I don’t know Joe…WHY DON’T YOU EFFING TELL US?!?!
But let’s put this into a bit more context…the discovery of these improperly possessed classified documents happened…as far as we know…over two months ago, a mere six days before the mid-term elections. And we only found out after a leak…NOT A TRANSPARENT DISCLOSURE???
Enter Marxist Weasel and high-level Deep-Stater, Attorney General Merrick Garland, to appoint a Special Counsel to investigate this shit. Not because he has any integrity, mind you, but because he was trapped in a box like a Cracker Jack prize.
After he, in unprecedented fashion, released the FBI dogs to raid the effing private residence of an ex-president…officially over classified documents…but REALLY as a fishing expedition at the behest of the jokingly corrupt and illegitimate “Jan 6th Committee”…Garland had no choice but to IMMEDIATELY appoint a Special Counsel investigation, same as he did for Trump.
And please understand…If AG Weasel had any conceivable way to weasel out of appointing said Special Counsel, he would have weaseled. Houdini couldn’t have escaped the box AG Weasel created for himself.
Anyway, here’s what the Leftist assholes are unable or unwilling to understand…
The genesis of the outrage expressed by Republicans and generally on the Right, really has absolutely nothing to do with a few improperly possessed classified documents, per se.
It is the overt and undeniable two-tiered justice system and the continued disparate treatment of everything that goes on in Washington vis-a-vis Republicans vs Democrats. Classified documents? Who f*cking cares? These are ex-Presidents, who can declassify anything they want. Fight it out with the National Archives weenies.
Why no immediate raids on every Biden private residence? Huh? WHY THE F*CK NOT?!?! And Biden was only a VP when he scarfed up these documents. Documents that he could NOT declassify at will.
OOOH, THE PLOT THICKENS!!
I’ll close this meandering dissertation with a guess. My guess is that the corrupt DOJ or FBI Deep State flunkies, who, to their credit, fully understand that a guy who struggles with bladder and bowel control, and rarely knows what goddamn planet he’s on, cannot properly dispense the duties of Leader of the Free World…leaked this shit, knowing AG Garland had to appoint a Special Counsel.
And guess what? Special Counsels often drag on about two years…in this case, nicely into the next presidential election cycle…and always venture far off the reservation of the originally intended scope of investigation.
It’s like my wife perusing through my internet browsing history…God Knows what they’ll find. And trust me…NONE of it will be good.
But one thing is coming clearly into focus…the increasingly dubious prospect of President Hair-Sniffer’s re-election bid in 2024.
Grab a bat Comma La, you’re on deck. You’ve already nailed down the Hyena vote.
What could possibly go wrong?