Probably the best blog title ever. Too bad it’s not a Drunken Republican original. But I’m a weak, weak man, and I couldn’t resist “borrowing” it. It’s THAT effing good.
So, New York’s cool cat Luv Guv Andrew Cuomo’s nine lives have clearly just run out.
The investigation by NY Attorney General Letitia James into Cuomo’s years of alleged sexual harassment and sexual assault on about a dozen women has concluded, and I reckon Governor Gropey ought to start filling out some change of address cards, listing the “Governor’s Mansion” in the “previous address” section.
This creep treats women like Joey Chestnut treats a plate of 75 hot dogs on July 4th at Coney Island. If you’ve had the pleasure (or displeasure, as it were) of witnessing Mr. Chestnut’s hot dog eating prowess, you’ll surely appreciate how truly disturbing that reference is.
Anyway…no need to belabor the point, the writing is on the wall like a graffiti covered NYC subway car for Cuomo…he resigns, or he’s impeached. Period.
And entitled, narcissistic, A-Holes like him never resign.
But three things really stuck out to me in this whole Gubernatorial Grope-Fest…
With resignation likely off the table, Randy Andy…in response to this damning probe…releases this really weird, creepy video showing him hugging and kissing droves of men, women, and quite possibly one of the other 79 genders.
Even smooching the likes of Al “You mean global warming DIDN’T end the world in 2015?” Gore. Really? Al Gore? That blowhard? C’mon Guv, I thought you had better taste than that.
So, his laughable “defense?”…
Hey, I’m just a very affectionate guy, I hug and kiss everyone all the time, and these poor, confused women CLEARLY misinterpreted my kneading of their boobs and buttocks like big globs of Play-Doh as something, ya know, inappropriate.
Wow, where did he go for THAT stellar strategy, Political Consultants-R-Us? Maybe he had a coupon that was expiring. My God.
I would have advised him to convince people he was an amateur magician in his spare time, and he was simply practicing his new signature trick, pulling a rabbit from under a woman’s blouse.
But then again, I’m no Karl Rove.
Moving right along…the next thing that I found so hilarious was all these Democrats abandoning Cuomo…from the ones in the NY State Assembly promising to impeach him…to Nutty Nancy, Cryin’ Chuck…all the way up to the author of the #1 book on the Pervert Post-Dispatch Best Seller List, “Hair Sniffing For Dummies,” and a guy who knows a thing or two about creepy behavior…our comatose occupant of the White House.
It’s all complete bullshit, of course. They praised him endlessly…including ignoring his abhorrent policies that resulted in thousands of elderly deaths in nursing homes…until it became both politically expedient to abandon him, and outright impossible to stick with him.
Friggin’ phonies. Don’t give them a speck of credit. They couldn’t give a flying f*ck about these women. #MeToo, my ass. It’s all contrived and self-serving.
But I’d expect nothing less from soulless politicians who stick their disgusting saliva-laden index finger in the air to test the political winds.
Lastly, and most stunning…
SO…THIS IS WHAT’S GONNA FINALLY TAKE CUOMO DOWN?!?! NOT HIS BONE-CRUSHING INCOMPETENCE THAT LITERALLY KILLED THOUSANDS BY SENDING COVID POSITIVE SENIORS BACK INTO NURSING HOMES?!?!
It’s like a Mafia boss that’s responsible for countless stiffs floating at the bottom of the Hudson River shackled to big blocks of cement…but they finally nail him on some shit like tax evasion.
So, yes, Cuomo’s disgustingly inappropriate behavior with at least eleven women will ultimately lead to his political demise. Look, not minimizing the sexual harassment/assault in the slightest…that’s serious shit that will likely lead to criminal charges…but it’s just not in the same stratosphere as thousands of deaths.
Governor Gropey is on an island of one, and every high profile Democrat on the planet has voted him off. But he’s refusing to vamoose.
Anyone have Jeff Probst’s cell number? I’m sensing this is a job for the professionals.
Anyway…remember that old Bruce Willis movie The Sixth Sense? Where he doesn’t actually realize that he’s dead until the very end of the movie?
An exact parallel with Cuomo’s political career. He just hasn’t quite reached then end of the movie yet.
So let me get this straight, you condemn Democratic politicians who have abhorrent sexual harassment behavior with it but look the other way as long as it was your former favorite President? Got it.
Cuomo is awful and I’m glad he’s gone.
I didn’t realize Richard Nixon was accused of sexual harassment?