Nobody ever said it was gonna be easy.

One of President Trump’s major promises…probably, second only to plugging the holes in the southern border sieve…was improving upon the existing crappy trade deals around the globe.

Generally speaking, I LOVE the intellectually pleasing strategy of knocking out the easy shit first.  In the context of trade deals, that was doing the negotiation hokey pokey with Mexico, Canada, and the EU right out of the gate.

Done, done, and done.  Now, whether Congress will actually ratify any completed agreements is a story for another day.  But given that their aversion to giving Trump a “win” on ANYTHING is as strong as Michael Moore’s aversion to a padlocked refrigerator…don’t bet on it. Continue reading →

So…The epic fail-fest began with the release of the long-awaited Mueller report…what was supposed to be Christmas turned out to be April Fools Day for the Democrats…so appropriate.

Once THAT blew up in their face like the exploding cigar your wiseguy buddy lit up for you, Plan B is a desperate orgy of contrived investigations that are nothing more than presidential harassment…for which the Democrats will be rightly kicked in the nuts at the ballot box.

Damn, almost forgot…there is one REAL investigation…that our Aussie friends would call “The Boomerang.”  The whole fraudulent concoction of this phony Russian collusion BS is getting exposed faster than your creepy neighborhood flasher on the street corner sporting a dirty raincoat and an old tattered pair of Keds. Continue reading →

My God, waiting for Sleepy Joe Biden to FINALLY enter the 2020 presidential scrum felt every bit like the misery of waiting an hour and a half in line to ride Space Mountain.

At least there’s the payoff of an exhilarating thrill at The Mouse House.

What the hell did Biden give us for the marathon of waiting?

Some boring, lame-ass video where he looked more like a goddamn hostage than a presidential candidate.  I found myself searching for some hooded ISIS filth twirling their machetes in the background.

And thanks for the insinuations Joe, about what a miserable, racist scumbag Trump is.

About as original as your hair plugs.

Anyway, let’s move on to the subject at hand.  It’s time for Sleepy Joe’s post-prune juice, mid-afternoon siesta. Continue reading →

Here’s how God Awful things are for the Democrats right now.

Nancy Pelosi is acting like the sane one of the bunch.

I think I’m gonna be sick.

On Seinfeld, they call that “Bizarro World.”

While the Far Left wing of the Democrat party and their nutty base are still screaming for impeachment…Aunt Nancy knows damn well THAT would be political suicide.

Still, House Judiciary Committee Chairman and human weeble Jerry Nadler, and his partner in crime, House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff, whose bug eyes are a dead ringer for Vincent Price in…and AS…The Fly,” circa 1958…can’t seem to come to grips with the NO COLLUSION reality. Continue reading →

I get Donald Trump.  I get him.  I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing…it just is.

Maybe it’s because I’m originally from Queens like him.  Maybe it’s because I ALSO absolutely relish saying shit that I KNOW drives people batty.  

Ya know, just for the reaction.

Maybe it’s all of that.  Or none of that.

I don’t know.

But I do know one thing…not much of what The Donald does or says is by accident.  Stream of consciousness rally riffing and unfettered exaggerations notwithstanding…he passively attacks his opponents by simply saying or tweeting things that HE KNOWS will send them off the deep end.

But why? 

Easy.  They get hysterical and unglued.  They can’t think straight.  Raging rage.

And most importantly… IT.  GETS.  THEM.  OFF.  THEIR.  GAME. Continue reading →

I have quite a sentimental affinity for Creepy Joe Biden.

You see…Bumbling Biden played an instrumental role in losing my blogging virginity on August 17, 2016, in an aptly titled dissertation called “Crazy Uncle Joe.”

It was basically a response to a campaign speech he delivered somewhere while stumping for Crooked Hillary.  I methodically and gleefully tore apart every stupid Trump-Hating sentiment he regurgitated with the usual hysterical breathless fury.

Angry bastards, those Democrats.  Some things never change.

This time, however, I’m gonna stick up for Creepy Joe…and I DO say that affectionately.  I’m sorry, but I’m not down with the Sniveling Socialist grievance mob making him twist in the wind like a palm tree in a hurricane. Continue reading →

President Trump…fresh off the long-awaited conclusion of the strength-sapping and corruptly conceived Russian Collusion investigation, starring Bob Mueller…no Collusion, no Obstruction, zippo…celebrated last week with a raucous rally in Michigan with 15,000 of his closest friends.

Not to mention the 20,000 poor bastards that couldn’t get in.

Like King Kong busting out of his shackles…It’s The Donald…UNLEASHED!

HIDE THE CHILDREN!

He dropped the “BS” word in its full and utter glory.

He officially anointed California Congressman, part-time Russian conspiracy theorist, and full-time Trump-Hating Douche-Bag, Adam Schiff, as “Pencil Neck.”

I swear, Trump majored in Business and minored in nicknames.

On the one hand, the favorable end of the Mueller investigation jacked-up his swagger.

On the other hand…how can you even tell? Continue reading →

A political happy ending, indeed.

No, NOT of the “Robert Kraft South Florida Asian Massage Parlor” variety.

Sickos.

It’s the merciful end to the 22 month Bob Mueller Russian collusion witch hunt….conceived on a pretense more false than the room full of triple D’s in a plastic surgeon’s office on Rodeo Drive.

No Collusion.  No Obstruction.  No more indictments.  No nothing.  Nada.

A little summary, if I might…

500 witnesses interviewed.
2800+ subpoenas issued
500 search warrants executed.
20 Full Time Federal Prosecutors
40 Full Time FBI Agents
675 Days
Multiple lives ruined forever
Unlimited Funding
Unlimited Time

Phew! Continue reading →

Any old raisin-head baseball fan out there…like me…will surely remember the famed Killer B’s of the Houston Astros WAY back in the 90’s.

Biggio.  Bagwell.  Berkman.  Bell.

If you think Hillary’s presidential dreams were unmercifully crushed, you never saw these dudes have their way with a hanging curve.

Anyway, we have a new crop of Killer B’s among us…better known as the 2020 Democrat front-runners.

In no particular order…

Bernie.  Beto.  Biden.

BARF! Continue reading →

Surely you’ve heard of them.  I wish I hadn’t.  Alexandria Ocasio-Dumbass…er…Cortez.  Ilhan Omar.  Rashida Tlaib.  Phew, that’s a mouthful (insert inappropriate joke here ________).  All newly elected freshman Congresswomen from New York, Minnesota, and Michigan, respectively.

It appears Anti-Semitic, America-Hating Socialist Congresswomen come in three’s.  Like famous people dying.  And blind mice.

With apologies to Curley, Moe, and Larry (sorry Shemp, but screw you), I have brilliantly anointed these three empty-headed morons The Three Stoogettes.  

And while I possess no actual video of it, I can completely visualize them bopping each other on the coconut with mallets somewhere in the back of the House Chamber, causing them to spew stupid, offensive shit every time they flap their gums.

And like a Botox shortage, they’re Nancy Pelosi’s worst nightmare. Continue reading →