Greetings from Down Under!

No, no, no… I’m not passed out, laying DOWN UNDER a table in some seedy dive bar in Amsterdam’s red light district.

But good guess…not to mention overwhelmingly plausible.

I’m on a luxury, all-inclusive cruise, sailing around Australia and New Zealand.  Poor me.  Traveling there from the States was no picnic…especially that 15-hour leg from LA to Sydney.

Ok, ok…the day-and-a-half getting there was spent mostly between being pampered In Business Class and some insanely nice airport lounges…but it was still pretty f*cking brutal.  I truly felt horrible for folks having to do that shit in coach, and spending hours of layovers taking naps on some disgusting airport terminal floor.

Frankly, I’d rather be water-boarded naked while being forced to watch Michael Moore and Joy Behar doin’ the nasty.  Ew.  Only companies that manufacture barf bags could appreciate such vile imagery. Continue reading →