Hey Nancy…YOU’RE FIRED!!!

Red Wave, my ass.  I reckon there’s a harder flow happening inside Dementia Joe’s Extra Strength Depends.

So, let me just rip the band aid off here…clearly, my prediction of 240 House seats and 52 Senate seats for the GOP was based on pretty unrealistic expectations.

So, as of this writing, the GOP just won their 220th House seat (majority is 218), probably reaching 221, possibly 222, when they get done counting…like, maybe by April Fools Day, if we’re lucky.  And anyone that thinks counting votes for weeks after an election is legit, is indeed A FOOL.

In the Senate, it’s currently 50-49 in favor of Dems, thereby retaining control regardless of what happens in the Dec. 6th Georgia runoff between football legend Herschel Walker and Marxist Rafael Warnock.

Although, it’s still critical for the GOP to win that seat for a myriad of reasons…not the least of which is with 51 seats, the Dems can tell Joe Manchin to F off.  That would suck.

In terms of those “unrealistic expectations,” there’s no better place to start than the Senate.

The Senate map for the GOP was like Joy Behar…absolutely hideous.  They were defending 21 seats, the Dems just 14.  Still, my prediction of 52 assumed at least some semblance of a “red wave,” where guys like Dr. Oz in PA, Herschel Walker in GA, and Adam Laxalt in NV would all be swept into office.

But like Kamala Harris saying something even remotely coherent…it didn’t happen.  At least Herschel still has an electoral pulse.

So, no…THAT prediction was actually NOT blindly yanked from my rear sphincter.

The good news?  In 2024, the Senate map is even worse for the Dems.  About 70% of seats up for re-election are Democrats.  So…things look REALLY good for the GOP taking the Senate two years from now…not to mention the White House, and building on their newly won House majority.

Of course, the Republicans are the “snatch defeat from the jaws of victory” party.  These bastards could stroll into the Bunny Ranch in Vegas with a free afternoon and five grand in their pocket and still manage not to get laid.

So I take nothing for granted.

But what REALLY went wrong?  Plenty of things that probably pale in comparison to the aforementioned wildly unrealistic expectations.  And I’m as guilty as anyone else with falling victim.  Even worse, I completely violated my credo for happiness in life…which is LOW expectations.

Now, that doesn’t mean one can’t have lofty goals…but low expectations keeps you from getting too destroyed with failure, and results in enjoying successes even more.

Try it sometime.  It’s worked swimmingly for me for decades.

Anyway, a lot of the post-mortem from the babbling pundit class largely blames Trump and some of the Trump-backed candidates coming up short.  Eh, that might have been a negative impact on the margin, but mostly BS.

This notion is being pushed by guys like Mitch McConnell, who pulled a lot of critical funding at the 11th hour from some of these Trump-backed candidates, and refuses to take any blame.

Hey Mitch, push your head out of that turtle shell of yours and listen up…These Trump-backed candidates that you abhor because you abhor Trump, WON A F*CKING PRIMARY!!!  You DO realize that, don’t you???

So what you’re saying is that the GOP primary voters picked the wrong guy!!  Like, it’s THEIR fault!!!  And what?  Whatever Trump-hating, establishment stiff, Mitt Romney clone YOU pushed would have beaten those highly funded Democrat incumbents?  There’s precisely zero evidence that would have happened.

In my view, there’s two major reasons why the RED WAVE swirled down the crapper…

Primarily, it was due to Democrats being absolute masters at not only turning out their base…and midterms are unequivocally “base elections”…but banking millions of votes with early voting and ballot harvesting weeks before the election, while the dumbass Republicans are telling THEIR voters to show up on Election Day.

BTW, a new book has hit the shelves just in time for Christmas…LOSING ELECTIONS FOR DUMMIES…BY THE REPUBLICAN PARTY.  A great stocking stuffer!

The GOP rightly despises fraud inviting crap like ballot harvesting and universal mail in voting with sketchy ID requirements and wildly inaccurate voter rolls.

But they’d better get on board, pronto, because reality just smashed them in the nuts like an errantly kicked soccer ball.  They can’t continue to be millions of votes behind come Election Day.

Secondly…and reiterating that midterms are BASE ELECTIONS…the Democrats did an insanely great job at motivating their younger base by endless bellyaching about abortion and the overturning of Roe v. Wade…AND literally buying votes with the pipe dream of Biden’s “student loan forgiveness” executive order, which is patently unconstitutional…and has already been stopped by the courts.

This totally motivated their young base voters to separate themselves from their iPhones, bongs and bags of Cheetos long enough to complete and send in a ballot.  Generally speaking, these are people too busy gyrating their giblets on Tic Toc to have any f*cking clue as to what’s happening in the world…other than maybe what their Marxist college professors tell them.

They turned out in droves, and went about 30%+ for the Dems.  Bye bye wave.

Brilliant.  I’m sorry, but these guys are good.  They know how to win elections.  Period.  BY ANY AND ALL MEANS NECESSARY.  Literally.

Eye on the prize.  Ends justify the means.  Pick your cliche.

I’m oddly jealous.

OK, fine.  But why are we all crying in our f*cking beer?  Huh?  I mean…WE TOOK THE EFFING HOUSE.  FIRED PELOSI.  STOPPED THE BIDEN/PELOSI BAT SHIT CRAZY MARXIST AGENDA IN ITS TRACKS.

Ya know, when Pelosi hands over the gavel, it’s not a BIG gavel for a large majority, or a small gavel for a small majority.

IT’S.  JUST.  A.  FRIGGIN’.  GAVEL.

Like if a guy hits a home run…whether it’s one that scrapes the back of the wall…or a 500 foot behemoth blast…it’s the same home run.

So can we just PLEASE stop the goddamn pity party, and take the win?  I mean, seriously.  I’m begging.  On my knees. (Insert Monica Lewinsky joke here ____________)

And feel REALLY good about 2024…but with appropriately low expectations.

Just in case.

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