Last week was Heaven. Pure Heaven.
If you’re an unapologetic Trump supporter like yours truly…proudly deplorable to the effing bone…you no doubt endlessly enjoy the hysterical, unhinged reactions of the Trump Derangement Syndrome crowd to The Donald…his every action…every syllable uttered…no matter how benign.
Just the mere sight of him, or hearing his name spoken out loud makes that little vein pop right out of the side of their foreheads.
Haha…YOU know the one I’m talking about!
Now, I’ve been out of college for a few…ahem…decades…but if I remember correctly from my Psych 101 class…I believe the clinical psychological term to describe such nonsensically embarrassing behavior is “LOSING ONE’S SHIT!”
So, as bad as just any old day is for these Trump-despising leg-wetters having to endure The Trump Reality Extravaganza 24/7, the events of last week surely catapulted their hate-filled misery to glorious new levels.
On his trek across the pond to commemorate the 75th anniversary of the D-Day invasion over in Normandy, France, President Trump first stopped for a couple of days in the U.K.
I mean, when the Queen herself invites you for a spot of tea and crumpets…well, you go.
Yes…even if you’re the President.
The Queen and The Donald seemed to hit it off like a couple of old school chums…her, smiling and laughing like he just asked her to the Prom.
And except for an ill-fitting tux along the way, the visit was such a screaming success, even the British Press…no fan of the President, to say the least…gave him rave reviews.
The equivalent of a 95 on Rotten Tomatoes.
Meanwhile, the Trump-Haters and Fake News Media losers back in the States were hoping upon hope that Trump would do something…ANYTHING…massively offensive and inappropriate…like patting the Queen on her Royal Rump…or royally f*ck up in some other way.
It wasn’t to be.
DAMMIT! BUT THERE’S STILL TIME! HE’LL SCREW- UP IN NORMANDY!! I JUST KNOW IT!!!
You poor Trump-Hating bastards. Truth be told, if I didn’t revel so much in your self-inflicted misery, I might feel sorry for you.
But alas…I’m no Mother Teresa.
Trump kept his winning streak alive on the shores of Normandy as he delivered a soaring, on-point, emotional speech…praised, even, by the likes of CNN’s Jim Acosta and MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough.
I would have sooner thought the day would come where Michael Moore would be described as a svelte conservative before those two numb-nuts would throw any love Donald’s way.
So while his Normandy speech was mostly…and quite predictably…universally trashed by the other Trump-Hating media frauds…not sure what speech THEY saw…Acosta and Scarborough seemingly suffered a rare and momentary bout of truthfulness that you can bet has passed.
And if all of THAT presidential goodness in the span of a few short days wasn’t enough to punch the kooky Trump-Hating mob’s one-way ticket to Crazyville…
Our Problem-Solver-In-Chief, ever in TCB mode (Takin’ Care of Business), was able to…how shall we say?…motivate…encourage…prod…the Mexican government to massively step up their efforts in slowing the flood of Central American migrants by threatening tariffs on Mexican goods.
By the way…threats only work when they’re not empty (See Obama’s Syrian red line).
Besides…it appears to be much easier to work with the Mexican Government than Congress.
Hey, Congressional Democrats won’t take 30 goddamn minutes to tweak the asylum laws…more broken than every chair Michael Moore sits in…because they CRAVE the open border chaos…humanitarian crisis be damned…erroneously thinking their inaction will damage Trump in 2020.
Way to serve the country, Dems! Big thumbs up! WELL DONE!!
And ALL of that, sandwiched in-between lunching with the Queen and delivering historic speeches.
What a show-off.
So let’s see, he was a huge success because he DIDNT do anything really stupid and was able to successfully read a speech he clearly didn’t write. To top it off, he declared victory for a stack of security “concessions” the Mexican government had mostly already agreed to. Wow, what an amazing human being. You forgot to mention that he spent a few days hanging at his plush resort in the UK playing golf with his demon spawn and sticking you and me with the bill. On top of that, the resort used his presence to advertise and help maximize revenue and his earnings for his own account. Somehow you left that out so I wanted to make sure you didn’t miss his latest tax-payer funded golf outing to generate revenue at his own resort.
OK…So I’ll put you down as a maybe for Trump in 2020.