Ok, Georgia, you’re up.  Time to do your best Batman imitation and save Gotham City.

Scratch that…EVERY city.

HOW ABOUT THE WHOLE DAMN COUNTRY!!!

Let’s assume for shits and grins…and for the purpose of the forthcoming brilliant political analysis (stop laughing)…Grandpa Biden actually takes up residence in the White House Basement Bunker.

As you surely know by now, control of the Senate resides in the great state of Georgia in the form of two runoff races on Jan 5th, driven by their nutty law where basically everyone except a presidential candidate needs to garner at least 50% of the vote to avoid a runoff of the top two.

Really dumb law, but as the very wise Cosmo Kramer said…”A rule is a rule.  And let’s face it.  Without rules…there’s chaos.”

OK, fine.  NEVER argue with Kramer.  Good rule of thumb. Continue reading →

Ya know, I kind of planned to get into some of the nitty-gritty of the plethora of election fraud, and “irregularities” so egregious, they would render an ExLax factory powerless…all carried out by the historically corrupt political machines in lefty cesspools like Philadelphia.

City of Brotherly Love, my ass.

Thought it might be more useful, though, to take a more holistic approach than go down that gory detail rabbit hole.

In my best Dick Nixon voice…LET ME BE PERFECTLY CLEAR…

The Trump campaign not only has an absolute constitutional right to contest this election given the clear indication of a shenanigan tsunami…but an unequivocal duty and obligation to pursue all available avenues on behalf of his 72 million voters…THE MOST EVER FOR ANY REPUBLICAN.

Al Gore contested the 2000 election vs. Bush 43, and that took 37 friggin’ days to fully litigate.  And only ceased when the Supreme Court cried…ENOUGH!!

Funny, but I don’t recall the Lefty Media or any Democrat screaming bloody murder about it.  On the contrary…they cheered it.

So those Leftist wussies need to just go play with the stress-reducing toys strewn across their safespace floor and STFU. Continue reading →

Remember when you were in school, and you had some essay question on a test where you drew a COMPLETE blank?  Just sat and stared at that blank page like a mental patient for what seemed like an eternity.

This is the flashback I’m having right now.  Just don’t know where to start.

My first thought is that in 2020…the most effed-up year ever…why WOULDN’T there be election chaos?  Just like we can count on my beloved NY Jets being winless this year…so too can we count on that.

First, allow me to dispense of a pet peeve of mine…

Once again…and with total predictability…the pollsters shit the bed.  Like bad.

Every time I hear the words “Real Clear Politics Average,” I laugh uncontrollably.  This whole theory of “averaging” polls giving you a better answer is delusional.

If I have ten piles of shit of different sizes, and I come up with an average weight of each pile, I’m still left with ten piles of shit.

If nothing else, the pollsters are consistent.  They consistently suck. Continue reading →

Many things in life seem to come in three’s, don’t they?

Well…the final installment of the highly acclaimed “Why Trump Wins” trilogy is definitely no exception.

Look…Biden and his AOC loving Commie Crackpots have a conga line of crap policies and baggage longer than Michael Moore’s unfurled belt that could make Sleepy Joe go night night for good…

Jacking up economy crushing taxes and regulations…The court packing BS he won’t answer…decades of proven corruption by the Biden Crime Family selling influence and selling out the country…repeated promises to destroy fracking and the fossil fuel industry, and by extension, THE EFFING ECONOMY AND ENERGY INDEPENDENCE…

Protecting Antifa Anarchists and BLM Marxists by ignoring burning and looted cities…revert back to every failed foreign policy position championed for decades by the DC establishment swamp…spend trillions on some version of The Loony Tunes Green New Deal…and every fact pattern indicating there would be AT LEAST a million COVID deaths under the stewardship of Jerk-Off Joe (see H1N1)…

I could go on and on ad nauseam like the Rain Man reciting baseball statistics. Continue reading →

Buckle up for Part 2 of the 37-Part “Why Trump Wins” series.

Nah…just kidding.  Only 3 parts.  But it COULD be 37 parts.  And then some.

Anyway…Biden’s entire campaign pitch is the following…

• Trump personally killed over 200,000 people by bungling the Coronavirus response.
• Trump makes Hitler look like Mother Teresa, he eats babies, and kills puppies.  Or is it kills babies and eats puppies??  I can never keep that straight.
  

Anyway, the latter is what it is.  I learned decades ago never to argue with crazy F’ers, and that practice serves me well to this day.

But the former, while certainly supported by wacky, leg-wetting, left wing media narrative, isn’t supported in the slightest by ANY coherent fact pattern.

Facts are to Libs as kryptonite is to Superman.  Never forget that. Continue reading →

Wait for it…wait for it…

Ah, there it is…

That wonderful splattering sound was Biden FINALLY and UNEQUIVOCALLY taking a header off of that political tightrope he’s been tenuously balanced on for months…and I’ve been bloviating about ad nauseam.

Yeah, that was Biden…NOT the Coyote…disappearing in a cloud of dust.  Meep!  Meep!

Play with fire, you’re gonna get burned.  Jesus, I sound like my mother.

STOP RUNNING WITH THOSE SCISSORS!!  YOU’LL TAKE YOUR EYE OUT!!!

The idea of “court packing” just sent Joe and Kamala packing.

President Trump tried to wrap court packing around Biden’s pencil neck in their debate…but a bald tire gets more traction than ANYTHING out of that melee.

Enter Mike “If You’re Not My Wife, I Won’t Have Lunch With You” Pence, who for the first time, clearly and coherently posed that unfiltered question in the VP debate to that smug, condescending, embarrassingly phony, president wannabe and Queen of dumb bitchy faces, Kamala Harris.

Lib moderator Susan Page of USA Today CERTAINLY wasn’t going to. Continue reading →

I know, I know…I disappeared for a while.  I was at an undisclosed location with Dick Cheney and Elvis.

Man, those guys can party.

Not really.

What’s that?  You didn’t even notice my very conspicuous absence?  Shocker.

Anyway, my better-half and I decided to hit the open road for about 10 days in a rented Jaguar SUV…and a sweet ride it was.  Jet black.  Total bad ass.

Black Jags Matter.

Or as I named her…The White Privilegemobile.

Anyway…Lots of hiking and breweries.  OK, more breweries than hiking.  Either way, who has time to write?

Lots to catch up on. Continue reading →

Trump never ceases to amaze, does he?

In the face of massive, unrelenting, and often scandalous resistance…that commenced the very damn minute he and his gorgeous specimen of a wife, Melania, glided down that shiny Trump Tower escalator in 2015 to announce his candidacy…he continues to rack up momentous accomplishments, like Tom Brady racks up Super Bowl wins.

Well, probably not this year.  Sorry Tampa.

We ALL know the long list of wins…yes, ALL OF US…even those Trump-Hating Socialist Schmucks who refuse to admit and/or report it

One thing we can all agree…Trump’s not a guy that rests on his laurels.

So this week…when we witnessed a monumentally historic normalization of relations between Israel and two Middle East nations…United Arab Emirates and Bahrain…were any of us surprised?

It’s been 26 years since anything like this happened, when Jordan normalized relations with Israel in 1994.  Before that?  Egypt in 1978.  That’s it.

Until now.

And several other nations in the region lining up to smoke’em the peace pipe.

Pretty sure that was cultural appropriation.  Oopsie! Continue reading →

So…I suppose at this point one might say that my “trademark” of sorts has become poking a little harmless fun at Wacko Lib Michael Moore and his…um…apparent struggles with things like Body Mass Index and shoe-horning himself into miniscule airplane seats.

As one who leads a very healthy lifestyle, I fear a “slight” uptick in my alcohol consumption during the Wuhan virus confinement has resulted in a few extra pounds…and feeling a bit hypocritical as a result.

Her: “Honey, HOW MANY beers have you had today?”

Me: “Just two sweetie pie…the first and the last.” 

So this week, I will dispense with my usual good-natured mocking of Moore’s nauseating rotundness to discuss some very honest and perceptive comments he actually made last week about the upcoming election. Continue reading →

Who?  Us?  Worried?…said every Biden campaign lackey, nervously.

Their desperation is palpable.  

You can see it.  You can smell it.  Like an elephant crapping on your head.

So…It took the trifecta of focus groups, criticism from a couple of left-wing CNN talking heads, and cratering battle-ground poll numbers to nudge Punxsutawney Joe to poke his plug-filled melon out of his basement womb to FINALLY denounce the extreme violence destroying long-time Democrat-run cities.

AND BLAME TRUMP FOR ALL OF IT!!!  WHAT!?!?

In a conversation between Lefty CNN Douchebags Don Lemon and Chris Cuomo, Lemon actually admitted the Dems need to address the violence…BECAUSE IT’S AFFECTING POLL NUMBERS!

“As you know and I know, it’s showing up in the polling.  It’s showing up in focus groups.  It is the only thing…it is the only thing right now that is sticking.” Continue reading →