Any old raisin-head baseball fan out there…like me…will surely remember the famed Killer B’s of the Houston Astros WAY back in the 90’s.
Biggio. Bagwell. Berkman. Bell.
If you think Hillary’s presidential dreams were unmercifully crushed, you never saw these dudes have their way with a hanging curve.
Anyway, we have a new crop of Killer B’s among us…better known as the 2020 Democrat front-runners.
In no particular order…
Bernie. Beto. Biden.
BARF! Continue reading
Surely you’ve heard of them. I wish I hadn’t. Alexandria Ocasio-Dumbass…er…Cortez. Ilhan Omar. Rashida Tlaib. Phew, that’s a mouthful (insert inappropriate joke here ________). All newly elected freshman Congresswomen from New York, Minnesota, and Michigan, respectively.
It appears Anti-Semitic, America-Hating Socialist Congresswomen come in three’s. Like famous people dying. And blind mice.
With apologies to Curley, Moe, and Larry (sorry Shemp, but screw you), I have brilliantly anointed these three empty-headed morons The Three Stoogettes.
And while I possess no actual video of it, I can completely visualize them bopping each other on the coconut with mallets somewhere in the back of the House Chamber, causing them to spew stupid, offensive shit every time they flap their gums.
And like a Botox shortage, they’re Nancy Pelosi’s worst nightmare. Continue reading
Did any of you happen to catch the thing of beauty that was The Donald’s CPAC (Conservative Political Action Conference) keynote speech last Saturday?
My God.
At just over two hours, his longest speech ever…completely off script…stream of consciousness riffing reminiscent of a Robin Williams appearance on Johnny Carson’s Tonight Show couch 30 years ago.
So…once I recovered enough from basking in the sheer joy of being so fully and wonderfully entertained, I pondered a couple of random thoughts… Continue reading
I’ll bet you my entire 401k that 99% of the country never heard of this schmuck lefty actor Jussie Smollett before he let Trump Derangement Syndrome hijack his better senses.
I know I didn’t.
You’ll have to take my word for it, but I was damn sure this abhorrent stunt he pulled…one that could very well have started race riots across the country…was more of a hoax than Bob Mueller’s boondoggle, Trump’s “Secret Russian Agent” status, Al Gore’s and AOC’s 24/7 proclamations of impending climate doom…maybe even Sasquatch, for shit’s sake.
Ok, maybe not Sasquatch. Continue reading
Anyone that’s read my blog even once or twice is well aware of my complete and utter disdain for the lying left-wing propagandists in the Fake News Media. It may go without saying, but I’m of course referring to the NATIONAL media…the major TV networks, NY Times, WaPost…and other such liberal activist rags that are only good for one thing…house training puppies.
Or maybe lining the bottom of Polly’s bird cage. OK, fine…that’s two things.
I really do believe, however, that local newspapers and TV stations, generally speaking, do a pretty decent job of reporting on state and local issues. And it’s not that those newsrooms aren’t chock full of liberal Trump-hating nuts.
They are.
It’s just that, typically, there’s not much need for slanted, leftist advocacy reporting when you’re doing stories on things like controversial zoning issues and police blotter crap…trailer fires, drug deals gone bad, or some pervert in a tattered raincoat flashing an unsuspecting soccer mom fondling cantaloupes at the local Safeway. Continue reading
The double-digit sub-zero temps all over the country a couple of weeks ago were a nice kick in the nads for the nervous nellies who reside in the Wacky World of Global Warming.
I love it when that happens.
In fact, it’s been reported that Al Gore tripled his depression meds when he realized the weather folks were saying POLAR VORTEX…not SOLAR VORTEX. Jesus Al, get a friggin’ hearing aid. It’s OK…they have low carbon footprints. At least a million times less than your private jet.
Poor Al still can’t catch a break…I mean, he loses the Presidency by 537 lousy votes, and you can STILL cruise the streets of Manhattan and Miami without a snorkel.
How in Sam Hell DOES he cope?
What a schmuck.
Anyway… Continue reading
I love the State of the Union…the pomp and circumstance…the tradition…Pelosi sitting behind Trump with a big, dumb look on her face.
Well, OK…her normal expression.
Hey, it was more exciting than that crappy, boring Super Bowl two days earlier.
Sixteen lousy points…gimme a break.
So….The state of the union is…constipated? Or so it seemed by looking at the anguished mugs of every Democrat, who looked like one would if they inhaled six pounds of provolone and were completely…um…backed-up….and there was a strike at the Ex-Lax factory. Continue reading
Well, it was nice while it lasted. Like for Curly, when Moe needs a bathroom break and momentarily stops beating him on the head with a mallet.
NYUK, NYUK, NYUK!
But with the latest developments in the government shutdown saga…Government temporarily reopens…three weeks to get an agreement…well, the break’s over.
Dammit…I must opine.
I don’t know what it is. I just hate the subject. Alright, let’s get it over with…a few observations…a prediction…and a shit ton of mocking and ridiculing Liberals and their Siamese twins in the media, who haven’t uttered one goddamn syllable in this whole ordeal that’s made one iota of sense, or is such a massive agenda-driven lie, it would give Pinocchio nose envy.
And you know what they say about guys with long…uh…well…let’s just say Pinocchio was quite popular with the ladies.
I will not write about the shutdown every week.
I will not write about the shutdown every week.
I will not write about the shutdown every week.
He chanted.
Why, you ask? Well…
I’ll just ask one question before moving on…How can Pelosi keep saying she’s just SO distraught about the poor Government workers affected by the 25% shutdown…yet week after week passes, and she refuses to lift a crooked finger and do a goddamn thing about it?
As we all know, much of life is simply showing up.
Show up, Nancy. Just f*cking show up. Continue reading
I like that title. REALLY like it. It has the word “ass” in it. Twice. At this point in history, I can only be talking about this completely asinine 25% government shutdown. And let’s stop pretending we haven’t seen this many times before.
Government shuts down. Blame game ensues. Some milquetoast “agreement” happens. Government reopens.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Fine, it’s now the longest shutdown in history. That’s SO Trump, right? The biggest. The best. THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME! I’d expect NOTHING less.
This one’s different, though. A sign of the times, I suppose. There simply seems to be no resolution forthcoming to the fundamental dispute at hand.
A Mexican Standoff, if you will. (I know…WAY too easy…Hee Hee). Continue reading