Did any of you happen to catch the thing of beauty that was The Donald’s CPAC (Conservative Political Action Conference) keynote speech last Saturday? 

My God. 

At just over two hours, his longest speech ever…completely off script…stream of consciousness riffing reminiscent of a Robin Williams appearance on Johnny Carson’s Tonight Show couch 30 years ago.

So…once I recovered enough from basking in the sheer joy of being so fully and wonderfully entertained, I pondered a couple of random thoughts… Continue reading →

I’ll bet you my entire 401k that 99% of the country never heard of this schmuck lefty actor Jussie Smollett before he let Trump Derangement Syndrome hijack his better senses.    

I know I didn’t.

You’ll have to take my word for it, but I was damn sure this abhorrent stunt he pulled…one that could very well have started race riots across the country…was more of a hoax than Bob Mueller’s boondoggle, Trump’s “Secret Russian Agent” status, Al Gore’s and AOC’s 24/7 proclamations of impending climate doom…maybe even Sasquatch, for shit’s sake.

Ok, maybe not Sasquatch. Continue reading →

Anyone that’s read my blog even once or twice is well aware of my complete and utter disdain for the lying left-wing propagandists in the Fake News Media.  It may go without saying, but I’m of course referring to the NATIONAL media…the major TV networks, NY Times, WaPost…and other such liberal activist rags that are only good for one thing…house training puppies.

Or maybe lining the bottom of Polly’s bird cage.  OK, fine…that’s two things.

I really do believe, however, that local newspapers and TV stations, generally speaking, do a pretty decent job of reporting on state and local issues.  And it’s not that those newsrooms aren’t chock full of liberal Trump-hating nuts.

They are.  

It’s just that, typically, there’s not much need for slanted, leftist advocacy reporting when you’re doing stories on things like controversial zoning issues and police blotter crap…trailer fires, drug deals gone bad, or some pervert in a tattered raincoat flashing an unsuspecting soccer mom fondling cantaloupes at the local Safeway. Continue reading →

The double-digit sub-zero temps all over the country a couple of weeks ago were a nice kick in the nads for the nervous nellies who reside in the Wacky World of Global Warming.

I love it when that happens.

In fact, it’s been reported that Al Gore tripled his depression meds when he realized the weather folks were saying POLAR VORTEX…not SOLAR VORTEX.  Jesus Al, get a friggin’ hearing aid.  It’s OK…they have low carbon footprints.  At least a million times less than your private jet.

Poor Al still can’t catch a break…I mean, he loses the Presidency by 537 lousy votes, and you can STILL cruise the streets of Manhattan and Miami without a snorkel.

How in Sam Hell DOES he cope?

What a schmuck.

Anyway… Continue reading →

I love the State of the Union…the pomp and circumstance…the tradition…Pelosi sitting behind Trump with a big, dumb look on her face.

Well, OK…her normal expression.

Hey, it was more exciting than that crappy, boring Super Bowl two days earlier.

Sixteen lousy points…gimme a break.

So….The state of the union is…constipated?  Or so it seemed by looking at the anguished mugs of every Democrat, who looked like one would if they inhaled six pounds of provolone and were completely…um…backed-up….and there was a strike at the Ex-Lax factory. Continue reading →

Well, it was nice while it lasted.  Like for Curly, when Moe needs a bathroom break and momentarily stops beating him on the head with a mallet.   

NYUK, NYUK, NYUK!

But with the latest developments in the government shutdown saga…Government temporarily reopens…three weeks to get an agreement…well, the break’s over.

Dammit…I must opine.

I don’t know what it is.  I just hate the subject.  Alright, let’s get it over with…a few observations…a prediction…and a shit ton of mocking and ridiculing Liberals and their Siamese twins in the media, who haven’t uttered one goddamn syllable in this whole ordeal that’s made one iota of sense, or is such a massive agenda-driven lie, it would give Pinocchio nose envy.

And you know what they say about guys with long…uh…well…let’s just say Pinocchio was quite popular with the ladies.

Continue reading →

I will not write about the shutdown every week.  

I will not write about the shutdown every week.  

I will not write about the shutdown every week.

He chanted.

Why, you ask?  Well…

1. It’s getting boring.
2. I’d be repeating myself.
3. There’s nothing new until Pelosi decides to stop holding her breath, turning blue in the face, stomping the ground with her $800 pumps, and start negotiating.

I’ll just ask one question before moving on…How can Pelosi keep saying she’s just SO distraught about the poor Government workers affected by the 25% shutdown…yet week after week passes, and she refuses to lift a crooked finger and do a goddamn thing about it?

As we all know, much of life is simply showing up. 

Show up, Nancy.  Just f*cking show up. Continue reading →

I like that title.  REALLY like it.  It has the word “ass” in it.  Twice.  At this point in history, I can only be talking about this completely asinine 25% government shutdown.  And let’s stop pretending we haven’t seen this many times before.  

Government shuts down.  Blame game ensues.  Some milquetoast “agreement” happens. Government reopens.  

Lather.  Rinse.  Repeat.

Fine, it’s now the longest shutdown in history.  That’s SO Trump, right?  The biggest.  The best. THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME!  I’d expect NOTHING less.

This one’s different, though.  A sign of the times, I suppose.  There simply seems to be no resolution forthcoming to the fundamental dispute at hand.  

A Mexican Standoff, if you will.  (I know…WAY too easy…Hee Hee). Continue reading →

JFK.  LBJ.  AOC?

I don’t know about you, but I can’t get enough of that young lady…Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. AOC for short.  This newly elected 29-year-old self-described Socialist Congresswoman from New York…kinda cute at certain angles and just the right lighting, overflowing in spunk, well-intentioned…but intellectually, makes your garden-variety train wreck resemble a simple fender bender.

Did you…um…catch that 60 Minutes interview?  Any interviewer of her that I’ve seen…Anderson Cooper in this case…just sits there with their jaw dropped to the floor.  Utter amazement at what they are hearing…clearly trying not to burst out laughing.  Or simply awash in confusion.

So, as all this got me thinking about stupid women in general, visions of Nancy Pelosi danced through my head.

Last Christmas reference, I promise.

So…with apologies to Batman and Robin…I give you…The Dynamic Duo of Dumbness!

D-cubed for you math majors.

Continue reading →

OK everyone…WAKE UP!…chop, chop…Holidays are over.  Time to get your aching head back in the game.  And for the love of God…PLEASE dispose of that vile Eggnog.  That crap makes me want to heave even before the expiration date rears its ugly head.  I DO have a sporting chance of keeping it down if it’s laced with some fine Cognac…but soiling top shelf booze like that just seems REALLY wrong.

And given my official Holiday weight gain of 3 pounds, I fully expect Michael Moore to start doing fat jokes about ME.

Anyway…

I know you’re all as dog tired as me of enduring the endless semantic circle jerk as it relates to the current…let’s be candid…25% shutdown of the government.

25%?  Yeah.  Big Whoop.

Walls…Fences…Steel Slats…Barriers.  PLEASE F*CKING STOP!!!  I’m getting a headache layered on top of my Holiday binge drinking headache. Continue reading →