Author Archives: The Drunken Republican

AL-BAG-DEAD-Y

On May 2, 2011…a day after the clandestine…and successful…mission to kill that sub-human piece of filth Osama bin Laden, the NY Times had a headline that read…”Obama Finds Praise, Even From Republicans.”

I remember that time well…pretty universal praise for…of course, the killing of bin Laden…but also President Obama.

And rightly so.

Americans celebrated that day.  All Americans.

Doing the dead terrorist happy dance.

I mean, offing a top terrorist scumbag can be quite the unifying event.

Until now, apparently.

Thanks for the reciprocity, Libs. Continue reading

Trump’s Policy Pivot Promise

President Trump’s pullout of a handful of troops in Syria…only about 28 he says…caused quite the kerfuffle. 

I could have shared my thoughts on this last week…but admittedly, I’m no Middle East expert.  Far from it.

Now, if you’re looking for an expert on Seinfeld, the NY Mets, or a list of IPA’s SO hoppy they’ll curl your toes…then I’m your man.  But beyond that….

Plus, I’ve found it’s ALWAYS prudent to let such things marinate for a bit before haphazardly bloviating.

In other words, the “mature” approach…SO unlike me.  

My wife is nodding her head in enthusiastic agreement.

Anyway…Like I do everything else in life…I’ll do this backwards, and give my bottom line take on this first. Continue reading

Beep Beep…Beep Beep

Or is it Meep Meep?  Hmmm…the debate rages on.

Anyway…remember those old Road Runner cartoons?  Man, I loved those.

That stupid f*cking Wile E. Coyote practically went to the ends of the earth to kill that pesky Road Runner, and every time, it blew up right in his stupid coyote face.

I mean, literally.  Like ten sticks of dynamite from the Acme Dynamite Company blew up on his head…or he got pushed off a cliff….or unceremoniously crushed by a boulder.  And lived to tell about it.  EVERY. FRIGGIN’. TIME.

If Mr. Coyote was a cat with just nine lives, he would have croaked in 1966.

Anyway..aren’t we just seeing the same slapstick silliness in politics today?  The Coyote Democrats dying a political death every time they roll out their impeachment scheme du jour…ya know, the one that finally…FINALLY…leads to the demise of Road Runner Trump. Continue reading

Buying Biden

I was planning on really getting into the weeds of Joe Biden’s orgy of public corruption over his almost 50 years…yeah, you read that right…in the DC Swamp.

But no need to get too wonky given the embarrassingly prima facie nature of this corruption perpetrated by Joe and son Hunter Biden.  I reckon just the Reader’s Digest or Cliff’s Notes version will suffice.

Seriously…would ANY of us have gotten through high school and college without Cliff’s Notes?

To be fair to Sleepy, Creepy Joe…and we here at The Drunken Republican are slaves to fairness…he’s probably no more or less of a swamp creature than the rest of ‘em, generally speaking.

Although, I guess that’s like saying…well, Ted Bundy’s NO WORSE than Jeffrey Dahmer.

And I know of what I speak…You see, I just got done with Hillary Clinton’s latest literary endeavor…”Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Selling Your High Level Office But Were Afraid To Ask.” Continue reading

ORANGE. MAN. BAD. MUST. IMPEACH.

Jesus, I don’t even know where to start.

Donald Trump, guilty of yet ANOTHER concocted “scandal,” so say the “guilty before proven innocent” Democrats as they take another hit from their impeachment crack pipe.

HE CAN’T FIRE JIM COMEY!!! IMPEACH!!!

RUSSIAN COLLUSION!!! IMPEACH!!!

OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE!!! IMPEACH!!!

MICHAEL COHEN AND STORMY DANIELS!!! IMPEACH!!!

HE VIOLATED THE EMOLUMENTS CLAUSE!!! IMPEACH!!!

Jesus, they’ve literally been trying to impeach The Donald BEFORE he was even inaugurated.

Mull that unhinged psychosis through your coconut a few times. Continue reading

The Dem’s Presidential Pickle

My sincerest apologies for not posting anything last week.  You see…in the fantasy world in which I live, people actually noticed.

So humor an old guy, would ya?

Anyway, I ventured out to the Rocky Mountains in Colorado in an attempt to rid myself of the stress of this political blogging pressure-cooker.

I was successful for the most part…although it may have just been the thin air at the 9,000 foot altitude in Breckenridge that got me loopy.

Lots of incredible hiking, brewery hopping, and good food along the way.

I even stumbled into some place called Green Dragon that I THOUGHT had something to do with Asian cuisine.  Next thing I knew, I was sucking on some pretty tasty blue raspberry Jolly Rancher-like things that made me all happy and tingly.

Anyway…back to the grind… Continue reading

Messaging Mess

I don’t praise Far Left Democrats very often.  OK…never.

For obvious reasons.

But I’m gonna go a bit against the grain here.

Oh sure, we ALL know they’re just GREAT at things like safe space interior decorating, pussy-hat speed-knitting, and Chick-Fil-A boycotts.

BTW…I’ve literally never met a person that doesn’t LOVE the food at Chick-Fil-A.  Or when they say…with enthusiastic conviction, mind you…”My Pleasure” at the drive-thru window.

Anyway…here’s where I REALLY admire their skills…where it REALLY matters…

MESSAGING.

With regard to “messaging,” the Lefties are the ‘27 Yankees.  The Republicans?

The lovable, laughable…but lowly…’62 Mets. Continue reading

Liar. Leaker. Loser.

Unbridled arrogance.  Unethical narcissist.  Self-righteous liar.

I could go on, but I’ve run out of unflattering adjectives.

That would be my reply if someone dared to ask me to describe Jim Comey.

Investigation #1…DOJ Inspector General Michael Horowitz said Comey was completely insubordinate with regard to his actions related to Hillary Clinton’s Great Disappearing Email Caper.

Investigation #2 by IG Horowitz…the results of which were released last week…found him to be guilty of lying (lack of “candor” in government-speak), improperly leaking confidential information, and violating a plethora of FBI policies with impunity.

OK, I added “impunity” for dramatic effect.  STILL accurate.

The report was as scathing as Joe Biden is confused.

A lying, leaking loser…just like Trump said all along.

Continue reading

Squads, Scams & Setups

In my best Jerry Seinfeld voice…”What’s the deal with THESE women?”

The “Squad.”  Who else.  

Let’s come up with a NEW name for those wackos.  I have a few interesting suggestions…but the children need to leave the room first.

Anyway…riddle me this…

Would you welcome, with open arms, a potential visitor to your house that is openly hostile toward you…in fact, wants to destroy you…and would gleefully piss in your cornflakes the second they cross the threshold?

Of course you wouldn’t.  

And neither would Israel.  Ya know…Israel?  Probably our most strategically important ally on the planet?

Yeah.  THAT Israel. Continue reading

Hit List

Did you know…

…that this is my 150th blog post?  Three years and running.  Now, before you start asking yourself “Why should I give a shit?”…consider the significance of that very interesting number…

For instance…

It takes three 150 pound humans to equal one Michael Moore.

If you take 150 and divide by two, you get Maxine Waters’ IQ.

I could go on…but mercifully, I won’t.

Onward and upward…

THE TOLERANT LEFT STRIKES AGAIN!!!

Nope…not ANOTHER poor schlub getting the bejeezus beaten out of him…or maybe a steamy plate of curly cheese fries dumped on his head at some greasy spoon by a psychotic, violence-prone Lefty for the unforgivable crime against humanity of sporting a red MAGA hat.

Good guess, though. Continue reading