Impeachment For Dummies

Love that “Dummies” book series.  Always felt it was written just for me.

Anyway…don’t waste your time watching hours and hours of how THIS Ambassador or THAT Ambassador felt about President Trump’s dealings and communications with Ukraine.

“It made me uncomfortable.”  “It was inappropriate.”

WAAAAHHHHH!

Did it give you a rash on your privates too?

I’ll go out on a limb and say 90% of the unelected bureaucrats in the government would describe the entire Trump presidency that way.

If THOSE were the standards for impeaching a duly elected a President, then by all means…IMPEACH AWAY!

But of course it’s not…unless you’re donning a pussy hat in your cozy safe space while watching those nauseating yentas on The View.

And to Ambassador Yovanovich, whose main gripe seems to be that she was fired…

Boo F*cking Hoo.  Go cry to HR.

You serve at the pleasure of the President.  He can fire you because he doesn’t like the way you accessorize…or any other friggin’ reason.

Barack Obama unceremoniously fired every single politically-appointed Ambassador the day he took the oath of office in 2009.

And nobody on the Left or in the media blinked.

So please…spare me your phony, duplicitous outrage.

Anyway…sit back…relax…grab a brew…and enjoy…

Impeachment for Dummies!

(Applause!)

Or if you prefer…Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Impeachment But Were Afraid to Ask.

CHAPTER 1:  CONTEXT, CONTEXT, CONTEXT

Fact:  Ukraine is a massively corrupt nation.

Fact:  New Ukrainian President Zelensky was elected…above all else…on an anti-corruption platform.

Between ongoing, lawful investigations directed by AG Barr regarding the Dems colluding with Ukraine in 2016 to dig up dirt on Trump…AND Hunter Biden corruptly lining his pockets by peddling influence via the shady Ukrainian energy company Burisma…Trump would have been committing presidential malpractice had he NOT expressed his desire for Ukraine to cooperate with ongoing U.S. investigations into these matters BEFORE giving aid.

Without Quid Pro Quo.  Without Bribery.  Or without whatever the latest Dem focus groups told them to call it.

Not kidding about that.

And by the way…Trump has been railing on giving aid to corrupt nations FOREVER.

Stick THAT in your context pipe and smoke it.

In fact, a treaty with Ukraine called “Mutual Legal Assistance in Criminal Matters,” ratified in the Senate in 2000 during the Clinton/Lewinsky Administration, gave President Trump, not only the right, but the absolute obligation, to act as he did.

And all friggin’ day long, I hear Libs screaming…”TRUMP IS NOT ABOVE THE LAW!”

Nor immune to corruption investigations.  

Of course.

Guess what?  NEITHER IS BIDEN!!!

And yes Libs…in THAT context…running for President doesn’t mean diddly squat.

Deal with it, hypocrites.

CHAPTER 2:  OFF TO THE RACES

Have you noticed that these impeachment hearings are moving faster than Michael Moore barreling towards the last bag of Cheetos in the crap food aisle at the local Safeway?

Prudent strategy, actually.

They desperately need to get well in front of the effing hammer that’s gonna soon drop on them, courtesy of the FISA abuse investigation by IG Horowitz, and the INFINITELY more in depth CRIMINAL investigation into the origins of the 2016 Russian collusion hoax by US Attorney from Connecticut, John Durham.

And c’mon, the closer we get to the 2020 election…God forbid the American people ACTUALLY select the next President…they just look plain silly.

Or sillier, to be precise.  If that’s even possible.

Eleven months and counting…

CHAPTER 3:  THE FAIRNESS FARCE

The Dems were hoping they could scam you like one of Bernie Madoff’s victims, and create the illusion that these impeachment hearings are on the up and up now that they’ve been taken out of Schiff’s secret dungeon of impeachment, and into the light of day.

Don’t be a sap.

These ridiculously phony, partisan hearings are like if you were dragged into a courtroom in Anytown, USA, charged with murder based on hearsay evidence, and then prevented from having your counsel present or calling witnesses.

Enough to make any third world country proud.

I know, I know…this is a political…not legal…proceeding.

News Flash!…Americans are creatures of fairness, so they don’t give a shit.

CHAPTER 4:  THE SCRIPT WAS WRITTEN LONG AGO

The meat-headed Dems, of course, wrote this crappy, corrupt script a few years ago, with their psychotic hair-on-fire resistance and promises of coup and impeachment, incredibly when Trump was still floating around in post-election, pre-inauguration political purgatory.

Before he even christened the Oval Office commode.

So of course…OF COURSE we’re where we are.  Was there EVER any doubt???

Even after their Lord and Savior of Senility Bobby Mueller dropped a big, steamy pile in their corn flakes…you thought that was the end of it???

Surely you jest.

Someway..somehow…the House was ALWAYS going to impeach Trump…The Senate was ALWAYS going to acquit Trump…and ALL of this nonsense is simply a desperate, lame attempt to render The Donald unelectable in 2020.

At least in THEIR fantasy world of unicorns and rainbows.

Except it will ALL beautifully…and inevitably…backfire miserably on these pathetic, corrupt losers.

And they all lived unhappily ever after.

Fade to black…

THE END

Roll credits.

Hello?  Hello?  For the few of you still lingering in the theater…

Quick programming note…

No blog Thanksgiving week.  And remember…refrain from political talk during the Thanksgiving feast.  Unless your crazy Aunt Snowflake breaks out her pussy hat and gets in your face, that is.

Then, take her down.  Hard.

5 thoughts on “Impeachment For Dummies

  1. tacopepper

    As usual, this argument that Trump was asking about “corruption” for any other purpose than smearing a political opponent is beyond laughable and falls in the below zero IQ category. Trump obsesses daily about his past and future elections. He still holds campaign rallies bragging about his 2016 “landslide” and every moronic policy including his wall and his tax cuts are for no other purpose than to win the 2020 election. If you honestly believe Mr. Bankruptcy Adulterer Sexual Assaulter cares about anything other than finding dirt on Joe, you are lying to yourself or just plain wrong.

    Do I think it is impeachable? No, especially given that there is zero chances it passes a vote with his clan (no pun intended..maybe) in the Senate. However, just as his elephant-killer son warmly embraced a Russian citizen for dirt on Hillary (which he lied through his teeth about), this is just another desperate move to win an election. Given how the GOP got it handed to them in Trump-loving Kentucky and Louisiana recently, I can understand why he’s staining his shorts. Maybe that’s why he suddenly ran off to the hospital “to start his physical” on a Saturday. Either that, or the golf course was too wet and cold.

    Reply
  2. Bob Lieberman

    In a letter sent to four congressional committees in May 2019, Undersecretary of Defense for Policy John Rood informed lawmakers that he “certified that the Government of Ukraine has taken substantial actions to make defense institutional reforms for the purposes of decreasing corruption [and] increasing accountability.” So Trump really had no reason to be concerned about Ukrainian corruption.

    At a news conference on 9/25/19, Trump repeated his professed concerns about corruption as the reason for holding up $391 million in security assistance to Ukraine. And if he really was so concerned, why did he release the funds on 9/11/19 (*after* the quid pro quo conversation was made public)?

    Your complaint about how quickly the hearings are going is disingenuous. I don’t doubt for a moment that if they moved at half the pace, you’d accuse Democrats of dragging the process out.

    Reply
  3. tacopepper

    Follow-up timeline for your records:

    7/25: Trump asks Zelensky to investigate Biden
    8/12: Whistleblower files report
    9/9: Trump tells Sondland “I want nothing”
    9/9: Congress notified of report
    9/11: Aid Released

    Trump’s story is as phony as they come. It is ironic that you have Colonel Nathan R. Jessup on your page, because Trumps phony “No Quid Pro Quo” argument has more holes in it than Jessup claiming he didn’t order the Code Red.

    They both did it. And we all know it.

    Reply
  4. Tom

    So after another week of Impeachment Inquiry testimony, we know a few more things with more certainty:1) It still doesn’t matter. The House will vote for Articles of Impeachment and the Senate will not convict. 2) The Republicans shout victory, but in a somewhat desperate manner. It seems like if they believe in victory, then they should be celebrating and not shouting about tertiary historical events and why you can’t over-hear people talking on the phone. 3) The Democrats shout victory, but they know they will ultimately go down in flames. Democrats seem fixated on an unachievable objective and it’s not attractive.

    It also seems like we can eliminate the “It was a perfect call” scenario. I think we can also eliminate the “There was nothing wrong” scenario. So, we are down to:

    a) It was wrong, but not impeachable
    b) It was wrong and impeachable.

    Everyone needs to choose for themselves. I’m somewhat embarrassed to say that I have compromised my values and standards by choosing “a”. Let’s just have everyone vote their conscience in November 2020.

    Lastly, If Hunter Biden or Joe Biden or Curly, Mo or Shep did something wrong, then the Republicans could initiate any type of investigation they want in the Senate. I don’t understand why they whine and cry, but don’t do anything. It seems like the Executive Branch could also initiate official DoJ investigations. If the Biden’s did something illegal, then fry them. And I mean that. Everyone that commits a crime should be held accountable – Everyone and I repeat Everyone.

    Reply
    1. The Drunken Republican Post author

      Great comment.

      You must be psychic, because it was reported TONIGHT that Republican Senator Lindsey Graham has launched an investigation of the Biden’s.

      Reply

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