My sincerest apologies for not posting anything last week. You see…in the fantasy world in which I live, people actually noticed.
So humor an old guy, would ya?
Anyway, I ventured out to the Rocky Mountains in Colorado in an attempt to rid myself of the stress of this political blogging pressure-cooker.
I was successful for the most part…although it may have just been the thin air at the 9,000 foot altitude in Breckenridge that got me loopy.
Lots of incredible hiking, brewery hopping, and good food along the way.
I even stumbled into some place called Green Dragon that I THOUGHT had something to do with Asian cuisine. Next thing I knew, I was sucking on some pretty tasty blue raspberry Jolly Rancher-like things that made me all happy and tingly.
Anyway…back to the grind…
Well, those lovable, laughable losers…AKA, the Democrat party…are in quite the pickle, as presidential candidates go.
But before I continue, I have to say that I absolutely hate getting sucked into the “conventional wisdom” trap. But sometimes, the lure is just too powerful. And in this case, the alternatives seemingly nonexistent.
Right now, you have like five Dem candidates that even have a polling pulse…and you can stick the proverbial fork in the bottom two.
As quickly as I can…Forget Mayor Pete Boot-Edge-Edge…for a bunch of reasons..but most of all, African Americans don’t like him…so says the polling.
When you’re a Democrat running for…well…anything, and you’ve lost Blacks…that’s about as bad as it gets in Lefty Land, politically speaking.
Then there’s Kamala Harris…at the beginning, I really thought she had a shot. Boy, was I wrong. OK, maybe President of her home state…the People’s Republic of California…when they finally secede from the Union, that is.
Even though she’s a Senator, she’s clearly not ready for prime time. All over the map on healthcare. Medicare for all? Will private insurance still exist? Yes! Wait, no. Maybe. Ahh, forget it.
Healthcare…pretty much the number one issue for Democrats. Her positions are a moving target and incoherent. She REALLY should have nailed THAT one down.
Totally shit the bed there.
And her anger, condescension, and dripping arrogance make her about as likable as an unwelcome zit on Prom night.
So…I give you the Three Democrat Stooges left standing…Sleepy Creepy Joe, Pocahontas, and Crazy Bernie.
Two Socialist nutbags, and a bumbling geriatric failing miserably in his attempt to walk that political tightrope between Socialism and boring old plain vanilla Progressivism.
Now THERE’S a choice for ya! Death by hanging, drowning, or firing squad.
PICK ONE, DAMMIT!!!
If you’ve witnessed Biden’s continual incoherent gibberish in the debates and on the campaign trail…and near inability to literally keep his fake chompers from flying out of his goddamn mouth…well…me thinks Sleepy Creepy Joe is far closer to the Happy Trails Old Folks Home than the White House.
Check that. Not me thinks. ME KNOWS.
Biden clearly is not physically or mentally up to the task of running for President…much less BEING f*cking President.
I see it. You see it. Helen Keller would see it.
Yet, the Desperate Dems cling to Crazy Uncle Joe like grim death because…CLEARLY…the other two…the Donny and Marie of Socialism…are completely unelectable.
As for Bernie…his best chance was in 2016…until the DNC screwed him like a cheap hooker during Fleet Week and rigged the whole thing for Crooked Hillary.
He occupied the Socialist lane ALL by his lonesome. The ONLY game in Crazy Town.
Not anymore. Which makes him yesterday’s news, and is now simply viewed as the nutty, tired, angry old crank that he is. Stick a fork in him…but be careful not to puncture his Depends.
Or at least bring a mop.
So really…by simple process of elimination…we’re left with Pocahontas. Same exact policy positions as Bernie…but wrapped up in a more palatable package,
And there’s your pickle, folks. (Good jokes to be had there, but I’ll mercifully move along).
Lizzie Warren…A proud Socialist candidate for President, wholly unelectable in our Electoral College system.
Lizzie Borden would have a better shot.
And the Democrat Party KNOWS it.
As I said, this seems to be the conventional wisdom that could ultimately be proven wrong, I suppose.
And if I am wrong, I will personally contact Michael Moore and offer to run his campaign for President of Weight Watchers.
Because at THAT point…ANYTHING’S possible.
Wow! My first time reading this blog and the Trump “parroting” with the name calling, generalizations, etc, is almost complete. Give me some time; I’m going to print this out and take a Sharpie to it to fill in the missing inaccurate proclamations. LOL.
Stephanie, thank you so much for reading my blog and commenting! Even though you clearly don’t agree with my ramblings, I hope you keep reading. Would love to hear your thoughts as to areas of disagreement.
So yeah…the silly name calling, (hopefully) funny little analogies, near weekly Michael Moore fat jokes is my “shtick.” But all in good fun, and light years more benign than the Left calling the half of the country that doesn’t “agree” with them racists and bigots ad nauseam. So much for diversity of thought. 😉
Bumbling geriatric? You mean the incoherent, inaccurate, bankruptcy-loving President who has ballooned our deficit while ranting on a daily basis about such essential topics as the ratings on the Apprentice or mocking a minor because she has the audacity to disagree with him? The bias and lack of acknowledgement of the unfitness to serve office of our current President completely undermines your credibility while taking shots at the Democratic front-runners who from where I sit, all have clear limitations and challenges in their path to the Presidency.
If you can’t see or acknowledge incompetence on both sides of the aisle, that’s just as bad as driving down the highway with all of the windows on your car completely blacked out or taped over.
Thanks Taco, I stand corrected. I meant to call Biden a CORRUPT Bumbling Geriatric. Thanks again!
hahahahahaha CORRUPT?!?!?! You mean like stiffing subcontractors corrupt, discriminating against black tenants corrupt, paying off porn stars corrupt, extorting foreign leaders corrupt, sexually assaulting and bragging about it corrupt, lying openly thousands of times since taking office corrupt, running and then closing a bogus university corrupt, defaulting on your financial debts four times corrupt, lusting for your own daughter corrupt, cheating on your wives corrupt, embracing ruthless murderous dictators corrupt? I’m just seeking a little clarification here….