Any old raisin-head baseball fan out there…like me…will surely remember the famed Killer B’s of the Houston Astros WAY back in the 90’s.
Biggio. Bagwell. Berkman. Bell.
If you think Hillary’s presidential dreams were unmercifully crushed, you never saw these dudes have their way with a hanging curve.
Anyway, we have a new crop of Killer B’s among us…better known as the 2020 Democrat front-runners.
In no particular order…
Bernie. Beto. Biden.
BARF!
Note to Biden: Declare already. Stop with the faux suspense. Everyone knows you’re running.
And trust me…the third time will NOT be a charm.
Hate to break this to you Libs, but The Donald is going to have his way with this trio of losers like Steven Tyler plowing through a hotel suite full of groupies back in the 70’s.
Let’s just start with our favorite disheveled Commie Pinko…Crazy Bernie. Bless his bleeding heart, but his BEST shot was in 2016 when he…and he alone..owned the Socialist platform.
Of course, the Three-Card-Monte DNC snuffed out any chance he MAY have had against Crooked Hillary…like a barrage of gunfire taking down a Mob Boss while enjoying a heaping plate of rigatoni at Luigi’s House of Pasta.
Still…Bernie IS the “original,” and continues to draw huge crowds. AND he embraces HIS Socialism…gotta appreciate the honesty, right?
The other wannabes are bi-political, as it were, wanting it both ways. They loudly and proudly cloak themselves in Socialist Santa Claus policies, but are completely aghast at the suggestion that they themselves are “Socialists.”
Conviction be damned.
As for Crazy Uncle Joe…who never met a gaffe he didn’t uncontrollably blurt out…good luck. He’s run twice before and never garnered more than like 1% of the primary vote. The broken record cries of, “OH, BUT HE’S THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN BEAT TRUMP” are nonsense.
And even if true, he’ll never get the nomination.
In this field of Socialist Nutbags, Biden effectively plays the part of a moderate. And there is about as much demand from the Far Left Base for a moderate in these primaries as there is for 8-track tapes, station wagons, or a Blockbuster on every corner.
This brings us to Robert Francis O’Rourke. He absurdly refers to himself as “Beto,” in a seemingly lame…and transparent…attempt to pander to the Hispanic community, I guess.
But make no mistake…this big f*cking phony is more Irish than a case of Guinness, and about as Hispanic as Lizzie Warren is related to the REAL Pocahontas.
Quick nickname idea for The Donald to consider…Master Beto.
This guy has miniscule experience, even fewer accomplishments, and his claim to fame is that he lost a Senate race to Ted Cruz.
BUT HE ONLY LOST BY THREE POINTS! IN TEXAS!! THIS GUY’S GOING PLACES, I TELL YA!!!
What a crock of shit. Even in Texas, Cruz is a massively unpopular dude, and Beto enjoyed spending $80 million in his Senate race…more than TWICE what Cruz spent.
He had more money thrown at him by wealthy out-of-state donors than the feature act at your local strip club, whose rare talent is smoking cigarettes from interesting places.
None of this matters to the sniveling snowflakes in the out-of-touch Fake News Media, who have unanimously…and inexplicably…committed to Beto. All in.
They are embarrassingly fawning over this empty suit like a gaggle of 12-year-old girls at a Backstreet Boys concert 20 years ago.
HE’ S THE NEXT OBAMA!!! THE SECOND COMING OF BOBBY KENNEDY!!
Please. Beto is a pathetic Obama tribute band. Nothing more.
All he needs is a scruffy beard, and the media wimps would compare him to JC himself.
These people truly need help.
Robert Francis is a raving lunatic, constantly flailing his arms like he’s waving down a friggin’ ambulance.
And he says dumb shit like this…
“I consider myself a Capitalist…Having said that, it is clearly an imperfect, unfair, unjust, and racist Capitalist economy.”
Someone get me an Advil.
Asinine doesn’t begin to describe that statement.
If Beto had a vagina, he’d be Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.
I have nowhere to go from that genital reference.
Maybe they can improve their chances of being elected if they continuously attack an honorable deceased POW on Twitter like the delusional dipshit Republicans love so much. Perhaps they can raise their chances if they refer to someone as a “husband from hell” while they have been documented paying off porn stars they raw-dogged while their wife was nursing their new baby. It’s evident why he’s such a role model for the GOP with that high standard.