Can you believe it?  This is the third Christmas season for The Drunken Republican.  But if I’ve learned ONE thing…it’s that folks are way too busy around the Holidays to sit around with their loved ones in front of the Christmas tree, and even THINK about some silly political blog that is really nothing more than a collection of snarky one-liners spewed by a frustrated comedy writer.

During a normal week, I’m perfectly OK competing for the time of potential readers against things like watching paint dry, and picking lint out of one’s belly button.  But wasting ANY hilarious Michael Moore fat jokes during the Holiday season that very few will have the pleasure of seeing…well…I just don’t see the point.

And in that vain, I have decided to re-publish a poem I wrote on the very first Drunken Republican Christmas, chronicling Donald Trump’s journey to the White House.  If Jimmy Fallon and The Roots can take a holiday hiatus, dammit, so can I.

I hope this little trip down memory lane warms the cockles of your heart as it did for me… Continue reading →

Before Donald Trump came along to snatch an election from some woman we all wish would just make like a tree and LEAVE…and I heard the word “Trigger”…the first thing that entered my consciousness was a horse owned by some singer/actor dude named Roy Rogers.  OK, a bit before my time…and most likely yours…but the reference works, so hang with me.

NOW…when I hear THAT word…I immediately think of the aforementioned Donald J. Trump…and literally everything he says, does, or tweets that TRIGGERS the entire 50% of the country that bemoans his very existence on this planet.  In its purest form, of course, “trigger” simply indicates a total spaz out.  And if a person…uh…hypothetically speaking…was so pathetic as to have enough time on their hands to ACTUALLY Google the word “spaz,” they would find the verb form definition to be…”lose physical or emotional control.”

Hmmm…coincidentally, that’s the very same definition as “Trump Derangement Syndrome.”  Wait…check that…I’m one word off here.  The ACTUAL TDS definition is “lose physical, emotional, or bladder control.”

Gonna be a great Christmas over at the Depends factory…🎼 LET IT FLOW, LET IT FLOW, LET IT FLOW 🎼 Continue reading →

Sniff, Sniff.  Do you smell that?  Something’s burning.  Oh wait…it’s just Paris.  And if anyone’s surprised one iota by that, you might be afflicted by the political equivalent of Attention Deficit Disorder.  This recent rioting in the City of Lights…ostensibly started over another massive increase in gas taxes, elevating gas prices to about 7 bucks a gallon. 

But it was really about much, much more.

SEVEN BUCKS!!!  Jesus…I’d expect a post fill-up happy ending for THAT price.

Thank God I have Amazon Prime so I can get free shipping on that rickshaw I just ordered…said every person in France. Continue reading →

Another great man has passed.  I was always a big fan of George Herbert Walker Bush…affectionately referred to as “Bush 41.”  I mean, how could you NOT be?  I’m actually writing this blog while watching his funeral service…typing on my iPad through the blur of tears at times. 

Hey, even the crusty old Drunken Republican can be a big, fat softie.

But throughout the moving…and often humorous…eulogies, the media coverage of his passing several days earlier churned in my brain, and I seemed overcome…not by emotion…but by a rush of lamentable observations.

Continue reading →