Dearest Dems:

Boy, it’s been a rough year, hasn’t it?  I know it feels like the end of the world, but you JUST have to move on.  You seem to be inextricably nestled somewhere in the purgatory between anger and denial.  OK, so the election that was supposed to just be a formality didn’t quite work out. The anointment of Queen Hillary unexpectedly went down in flames because of that Neanderthal, Donald Trump.  You wake up at 3am in a cold sweat yelling “MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!”  Your dream of a more Socialistic United States turned out to be nothing but a nightmare.  Jesus, get back in the game and stop feeling sorry for yourself!  The sun will rise again if you can just find the wherewithal to dismount your ideological high horse.  I have to admit, though, I have my doubts…but the humanitarian in me has to at least give it a shot. Unfortunately, you’re off to a crap start…

If you’re going to make ANY progress with this, you HAVE to grab that low hanging fruit.  And the first order of business in that regard would have been to tell that nitwit, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, to take a hike.  Since Obama took office, the Democrats have lost 63 House seats, and currently a third of your total House seats come from the uber-liberal states of California, NY, and Massachusetts…not to mention massive losses in Governorships and State Legislatures…all courtesy of the Obama/Pelosi/Reid regime.  So, that genius Nancy “We Have to Pass the Bill So That You Can Find Out What Is In It” Pelosi has this to say on Face the Nation…“Well, I don’t think people want a new direction….What we want is a better connection of our message to working families in our country, and that clearly in the election showed that message wasn’t coming through.” Really? I think all that Botox may have seeped into her brain a bit.  Let’s face it…working families gave your party a big FU on November 8th because of your “message”…and you can’t break out of your ideological fog long enough to see the light.  Re-electing Pelosi as House Minority Leader is like failing an open book test.  To quote The Donald…”Sad.”

So OK, let’s talk about message.  This whole election cycle, here was your message…Donald Trump is the Devil, free college tuition for all (stolen from Bernie), and anyone that doesn’t agree with your leftist world view is a deplorable racist.  Oh yeah, and we need to let in hundreds of thousands of Syrian refugees that we can’t come close to vetting properly.  Did I leave anything out?  Being the party of the bicoastal elites who dine daily on identity politics and political correctness may play quite well in the Hamptons, but to an unemployed coal miner in Pennsylvania…not so much.  I’ll let you work out the details, but as far as “messaging”… a lot more on jobs, the economy, and security, and a lot less on climate change, open borders, and intolerance of dissenting ideas…by the way, “diversity” extends to “thought” as well.  And when things happen like Colin Kaepernick not standing for the national anthem, Black Lives Matter deadbeats chanting about killing cops, and scumbag college snowflakes roasting weenies over burning flags…well, at least ACT like it bothers you.

Achieving this more palatable message will require the Democrat Party to move more to the center in a meaningful way.  This is basically how Trump won the election…I mean, a right-wing ideologue he is not. Trust me, I would love nothing more than to watch the Democrats continue to commit political suicide, but I am trying to help here…I mean, it IS the Christmas season.   Another low hanging fruit alert…You must fully disassociate yourselves from far left nut cases like Bernie Sanders and Jill Stein.  These crackpots ought to be out on a ledge somewhere, NOT running for President.  Attaching yourselves to Jill Stein’s recount efforts, for instance, is as politically retarded as you can get. And for God’s sake, DO NOT pick Minnesota Representative Keith Ellison to be the DNC Chairman.  Wrong, wrong message. This guy associates with the Nation of Islam and Louis Farrakhan, has a history of anti-Semitism, and was once a proponent of a blacks-only nation carved out of America.  And those are his BEST qualities.  I think I saw this guy sitting next to Jack Nicholson in “One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest.”  I mean, add this jerk to Sanders and Stein, and you have The Three Stooges of Insanity.  Bottom line is that far left, socialistic policies…open borders, high taxes and regulations, cradle to grave entitlements…have been failing all over the world for decades.   Have you been to Europe recently?  If you took a peek out of your safe space every once in a while, you may have noticed. Americans (and Europeans) are running away from this crap like they’re being chased by a guy with a bloody chainsaw. Obama was a once in a lifetime master politician and orator who won the Presidency twice…HE won, NOT his far left policies.  And here we sit, eight years later, suffering the aftermath.  The time is NOW to listen to the more centrist voices in your party, and stop shunning them.  Ya know, going back to being the party of JFK wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

So there you have it.  Men have died trying to obtain this valuable information.  Like any addict, the first step is admitting you have a problem.  Socialism addiction, in your case.  You must accept the election results, take the blame, and move on.  Because quite frankly, up until now, you guys have shown about as much self-reflection as a cellulite-ridden woman stuffing herself into a teenie weenie bikini.  And pleeeeease…Stop with the popular vote nonsense.  A fantastic football analogy I heard on that subject came from pro wrestler Tyrus, a regular on The Greg Gutfeld Show on Fox…“Saying you have the popular vote is like getting your ass kicked but you had more yards…it doesn’t count.”   Indeed.

Best of luck…You’re gonna need it,

The Drunken Republican