They all said Trump would never, ever run,
And if he did, it’s just for fun.
But on the escalator, down Donald came,
Melania by his side, she’s quite a dame.
The haters said his chances were zero,
But for the rest of us, he was our hero.
He knocked off the others one by one,
And before you knew it, he was done.
Goodbye Jeb and goodbye Teddy,
How pathetic, they just weren’t ready.
Next came Hillary to start her journey,
But not before they totally screwed Bernie.
It was planned for years, she made it to the dance,
But the Rust Belt said she had no chance.
Sorry Princess Pantsuit, you’re outta luck,
‘Cause as a candidate, you totally suck.
It’s time for a woman president, that may be true,
But you know what, honey?  Just not YOU.
The votes are counted, the people have spoken,
The Libs are crying, their hearts are broken.
We won the popular vote, you fools!
Last time I checked, those weren’t the rules.
Wikileaks, Comey, Russian hacking, and more,
Excuses, excuses, excuses galore.
Donald, Melania, and the kids, not too shoddy,
Especially Ivanka, a total hottie.
This First Family we surely rate a ten,
‘Cause they’re Making America Great Again.

Poor, poor President Obama.  His attempt last week at his final press conference to set the table for his “legacy” felt more like him yanking the tablecloth out from under it.  The verbal equivalent of spanx, to conceal, shall we say…the least flattering parts?  Sure, the hyper-partisan leftists tried in vain to not spill their latte’s as they cheered and high-fived, but other than them and the zombies that think the electoral college is an institution of higher learning, the rest of us were just sort of bewildered. And as President Obama seemed to take great pleasure in spreading his legacy feathers like a proud peacock, he must have just assumed that nobody had been paying much attention for the past eight years.  There’s not enough lipstick on the planet to smear on the pig that is the Obama legacy.  So let’s peel the onion back a bit on the nightmare of the past 8 years that is mercifully about to come to an end… Continue reading →

I was actually starting to think that the hysterics of the Trump deniers were beginning to taper off, but I should have known better.  I’d really rather write about more substantive issues, but the endless opportunities to completely mock and ridicule the Democrats and the media as they continue to erect these pillars of excuses is just too delicious to pass up.  And truth be told, I’ve always been lacking in the will-power department.  The layering of excuses for Hillary’s historic defeat is piled higher than your grandmother’s lasagna.  It’s enough to make your head spin…Jim Comey, electoral college, fake news, Fox News blaring in every restaurant and bar in the country (Obama gets full credit for that one)….and, drumroll please…a blast from the not too distant past…Russian Hacking!  Let’s unpack some of this and talk about what the hell is REALLY going on… Continue reading →

Dearest Dems:

Boy, it’s been a rough year, hasn’t it?  I know it feels like the end of the world, but you JUST have to move on.  You seem to be inextricably nestled somewhere in the purgatory between anger and denial.  OK, so the election that was supposed to just be a formality didn’t quite work out. The anointment of Queen Hillary unexpectedly went down in flames because of that Neanderthal, Donald Trump.  You wake up at 3am in a cold sweat yelling “MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!”  Your dream of a more Socialistic United States turned out to be nothing but a nightmare.  Jesus, get back in the game and stop feeling sorry for yourself!  The sun will rise again if you can just find the wherewithal to dismount your ideological high horse.  I have to admit, though, I have my doubts…but the humanitarian in me has to at least give it a shot. Unfortunately, you’re off to a crap start… Continue reading →